Afterwards
She lies there looking at you afterwards
and you know you’re already gone:
stood there in her room, looking out,
beyond her net curtains.
She can’t mop her sticky thighs
or clear her aching throat while
your eyes reach out to
the house opposite hers.
She doesn’t make any move to touch:
she knows you wouldn’t like
her to do that, now. Unless she
was someone else.
She won’t cry with a man still there
in her room and you know it’s
time you took your sorry
corpse away to let her.
What a sad, slightly sordid(?) little tale of woe. Beautifully drawn.
Thank you – and yes, it’s intended to come over a little sordid and uncomfortable, so I’m pleased you got that from it.
A discomfiting poem – edgy
I love the word “discomfiting” – that’s exactly what I was aiming for.
This is visceral, sad, painful and yet there is a beauty in the honesty.
An evocative vignette of a poem
Thank you Tricia – yes, it’s a sad little story isn’t it.
I didn’t think you could get any better Holly but you just have done
Christine xx
Gosh, Christine, you flatter me. The original draft of this was written probably nearly ten years ago – I found it in some old uni files the other day and did a tweaky re-edit and here it is! Glad you like.
Holly I just do not know what to say there does not seem a word adequate. I am impressed! XX
Thank you Willow – you are very kind.
No I am honest
I know – still appreciated though.
Your soft subtle imagery – I don’t think anyone else could bring about such an unique sense of reality. Your poems are so realistic and…touchable. I can feel them.
I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award.
Read more about it here.
I do hope you decide to pass it on (:
Thank you very much Bluesander.
Dearest Holly, just want to make sure you know that I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Award – hope you enjoy it
Thank you for thinking of me!