Re-posting this from last February, because it’s that time of year again…
Bear Arses for Valentines
Give me £4.99 supermarket roses
wobbling on the point of wilt.
Or two for eight quid. A snip!
Cellophane-strangled, thornless
and fake scented.
Force-grown, dip-dyed,
red to prove passion.
Or something.
Give me a “personalized” card
bought online, just for me.
Send off a gurning snapshot
and they’ll do the rest:
sign it and lick the envelope
and post it to S.W.A.L.K. through
my door, forensic without
your fingerprints.
Once you’ve paid them.
Give me a big pink teddy bear
yanked from a furry squash
of identical card-shop bears.
Stitched on smile, paws sewn
to cushions saying “I wuv oo”
to show you do, you do.
Tomorrow half-price, still smiling.
Paws still pinned to cushions can’t
even scratch their own bear-y arses.
This is terrific! I remember it thhough. A year??!! Surely I must have missed some!
.
It’s hard to keep up I find with so many blogs out there! Glad you like Christine – I’m going to a Valentine themed spoken word thing next week and might read this one…
heh-heh … bear-y arses
Yep. Even teddies must get itchy bums now and then…
Glad you reposted – would have missed this lovely piece otherwise. When’s a collection in print due, I wonder.
Not until the stars align and I have all my ducks in a row…
Wobbling on the point of wilt – love it – it is cobblers the whole thing.
I love the word “wobbling” – it’s teetering on the brink of my “overused words” list… I don’t mind Valentines Day per se, it’s just all the commercial tat that goes with it. Ick! I’m a romantic at heart though… honest!
You old softy
Ssssshhhhh…. don’t let anyone know though will you…
Glad you re-posted it because I can’t remember a year ago!
But, this is terrific, love it! Sending you hugs! 
Thanks Lauren – glad you liked!